Tomorrow will be my first Valentine's day in 8 years that I will for once be single. So much happened yesterday so fast, I had a really bad day...I lost two friends. Never keep your phone by you when you are drinking...drunk texting is never a positive thing it only hurts people and makes you feel like an ass. Everytime I have trouble with a man it's unfortunate but it brings up my ex and makes me even more mad at him that I am now having to deal with situations like this. I was really bummed yesterday and majority of today...you'll be able to tell by the Oreos that will be stuck to ...excuse my french, but my ass. Well it's Friday night and I had a lot of offers to go out and do something, my friends always encourage me to go out when I am feeling down but something told me to stay in tonight. I have the beginnings of a sinus infection so I am not feeling to hot to begin with so I decided to stay in tonight. I ordered pizza by myself for the first time in my life! I rented "Nights in Rodanthe" off of the TV...I lit my candles and sat in my house alone indulging in my little treats. By the way if you haven't seen "Nights in Rodanthe" buy the book by author Nicholas Sparks...it's a quick read, then rent the movie and make sure you have a box of tissues...it's amazing! That's right I said my house, it hit me tonight how fortunate I am...I own my own house and it's well decorated and it is filled with love, I always thought I needed a man in order for my house to be filled with love but no, you just need yourself, your faith, and of course your dog if you have one :) Tonight was the first time I smiled by myself in I don't know how long...and to top things off I am no longer paying for someone's health insurance so my pay check was nice and full today and it felt so good to hold in my hands. So I don't fear tomorrow (Valentine's Day) I will embrace it. Because I don't need a man to love me or to feel loved, because I love myself. And I am extremely lucky you have such loving friends and family to always be there for me. So if you are feeling lonely, order a pizza and watch a movie and just get comfortable with being with just you...it's actually refreshing and it will make you feel like a stronger person.
HI Vanessa, It's Carolyn!
ReplyDeleteI love your post. Girl, you have more strength than I can put in words and more sense and maturity than someone twice your age.
I didn't how to commend you when I saw you during the holidays. All I wanted was you to know the we (my family) are there for you and are in shock at what happened. There I said it, utter and complete shock at how things occurred.
Some day we should have a llllloooonnnggg talk one day and share many things but for now I will leave you on a happy note. Enjoy your weekend, enjoy your newly found independence and appreciation of all the good things you have going for you. If there's anything I can suggest from my limited life experiences it's live life to the fullest and always put yourself first. You can't be happy with someone else until you yourself are truly happy.
You know how to reach me if you ever need me. Us ladies always stick together!